Reality vs. Public Perception (or Yes, I know I don't look sick...but I am.)

Let me paint a picture for you.

Imagine a young woman, in her mid-thirties.  Her 5 page resume is sitting on your desk in front of you, and so you can see that she's an expert in California Mental Health regulations and Compliance. She also had a private therapy practice where she sees a few clients to maintain her clinical skills.  In one of her previous positions, she was the sole clinical person for several oversight roles, and she rocked it.  In talking with her, you also find out that she has a photography business on the side and has a greeting card line associated with it.  

In her free time, she's working on a third masters degree. She has a Master of Social Work, is a licensed clinical social worker, and finished up a Master of Public Administration a couple of years ago--while working full time.  She supervises individuals for their hours toward licensure, because she feels it's important to give back to the future LCSWs of California.  For fun, she and her husband love to go on hikes with their amazing dog.  She enjoys knitting, lampworking (making things out of glass), and writing.

She's sitting across from you, very poised.  She's quick with a smile and very well-spoken.  Her humor is quick and dry, and you imagine she falls into the leadership position whenever she's working in a group with her confidence.  You can imagine that she's a great trainer as she explains her past job roles to you.  And you find yourself laughing as she relates a story about getting caught jamming out to a song on the drive over.  

Imagine that same young woman.  It's first thing in the morning, any day of the week, and you see her struggling to wake up.  Her body feels stiff and she's having some difficulty moving.  You see her take a deep breath before placing her feet on the ground, a wince showing her discomfort as she stands.  She limps to the bathroom for a morning shower.  She is pale and obviously in pain.  It doesn't take much to wear her out and the fatigue is obvious.  You watch her take a handful of pills in the morning after struggling against nausea to eat a little bit of breakfast.  This morning, her hands seem to have a difficult time holding the mug and she seems to have some challenges holding a conversation with her husband.

These are not two different women.  These are the same women.

The first is her public persona; the second is when she lets the mask down.

She's a chronic pain warrior.  

What you don't see is that she is always in some level of pain, dealing with some level of fatigue, and probably dealing with a number of other systemic issues while trying to live life.

How do I know?

I'm her.



Definitions of the conditions listed in my medical chart